Sometimes, I am not going to lie hearing the things you need to suck. Esp when they come from someone you love a lot. Esp when you get told to go see someone about it from them.
I guess you could say I have a problem with stress. Well I didn't realize just how bad it was until tonight. I just spaz about everything when something is stressing me out. So I googled ways to mange stress. So here are some ways I found to do so.
*take a nap
*meditate
*talk to someone about it
*watch t.v
*listen to music
*go on a walk
*work out
*Journal
*figure out the root of the stress and remove it or defeat it
*Avoid hot topics
*Learn how to say "no"
*avoid people who stress you out
*Take control of your environment
*Focus on Positive
*Don't try to control the Uncontrollable
These are just a few ways I got from my google search. Want some more go to..
http://helpguide.org/mental/stress_management_relief_coping.htm
I am still learning about it. So I can't say this lesson is officially learned, but I am in the process of learning. It really can ruin your whole life and make for unnecessary stressful situations.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
CUPCAKES!!!
aside from the mass amounts of homework this weekend. I am making cupcakes for one of my boyfriends friends. I hope the friends girlfriend doesn't get mad. I didn't think about that before I started baking. lol. Silly me. Oh well, I'll take my risks. At best I will be like there for one of his other friends. I just want to make cupcakes. I have permission from the dudes best friend so I figure I'm good, right?
Well off to baking I go. tootles.
Well off to baking I go. tootles.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Happy Friday!
Happy Friday!
Oh boy I am so happy its the weekend! I have so much homework, but not too worried. Hopefully it will be better then this week has been. I hope everyone has a good weekend! :D
I am tired and have a very uneventful work day in the morning. So goodnight.
Oh boy I am so happy its the weekend! I have so much homework, but not too worried. Hopefully it will be better then this week has been. I hope everyone has a good weekend! :D
I am tired and have a very uneventful work day in the morning. So goodnight.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Venting again
One would think that being a psych major would help you express your emotions better to others. Nope it doesn't. In fact it in my book is one of the scariest things to do. Because I some how take what I mean to say and totally mess things up.
I cant even begin to tell you how bad I need to talk to the person I love the most and I wont do it because I always find some way to make what I mean sound like something completely different. I haven't been sleeping because of it. I have had more headaches and aches then one can possibly think of.
Some day's I think why can't it be like when I was little and had no problem expressing feelings to anyone. I have a migraine so I am just going to stop typing. The light from the screen is making things worse. Night.
I cant even begin to tell you how bad I need to talk to the person I love the most and I wont do it because I always find some way to make what I mean sound like something completely different. I haven't been sleeping because of it. I have had more headaches and aches then one can possibly think of.
Some day's I think why can't it be like when I was little and had no problem expressing feelings to anyone. I have a migraine so I am just going to stop typing. The light from the screen is making things worse. Night.
Good Morning
Good morning to you all.
Today is an easy day. I took my first Developmental psych test this morning. I feel pretty good about it. Music appreciation should just be lecture. Then biology yet another lovely test. Which I studying for right now. But my brain was hurting so I thought I would randomly post a good morning blog.
Little upset that I forgot that I brought breakfast with me this morning. I bought a thing of trail mix in the book store when i got my scan trons for my bio test today.I mean its a yummy healthy trail mix but seriously it was not worth the $2.00 when I had a breakfast from home.
I hope that I finish my bio test before noon so I can go home and take a nap before work. Not saying that working at American Eagle is a difficult job. The week nights are a bore so its best that I be awake as possible. Most likely will get sent home early again tonight. Really no one goes to the mall on wed night. So that results in someone getting sent home which is always me because I'm not allowed to work register. God I hate that job.
Good thing that happened yesterday I passed my math test with a 93% so go me. :D I have one of the highest grades in the class now. Woot! I will say that class is very hard to get though a lecture. Esp when you are starving and planning to go and get tacos after wards. lol.
Speech update:
Still no topic. Still she is crazy. I seriously am about to drop the class. Seriously if you go to DSC NEVER TAKE HAWKINS FOR SPEECH!!!
Today is an easy day. I took my first Developmental psych test this morning. I feel pretty good about it. Music appreciation should just be lecture. Then biology yet another lovely test. Which I studying for right now. But my brain was hurting so I thought I would randomly post a good morning blog.
Little upset that I forgot that I brought breakfast with me this morning. I bought a thing of trail mix in the book store when i got my scan trons for my bio test today.I mean its a yummy healthy trail mix but seriously it was not worth the $2.00 when I had a breakfast from home.
I hope that I finish my bio test before noon so I can go home and take a nap before work. Not saying that working at American Eagle is a difficult job. The week nights are a bore so its best that I be awake as possible. Most likely will get sent home early again tonight. Really no one goes to the mall on wed night. So that results in someone getting sent home which is always me because I'm not allowed to work register. God I hate that job.
Good thing that happened yesterday I passed my math test with a 93% so go me. :D I have one of the highest grades in the class now. Woot! I will say that class is very hard to get though a lecture. Esp when you are starving and planning to go and get tacos after wards. lol.
Speech update:
Still no topic. Still she is crazy. I seriously am about to drop the class. Seriously if you go to DSC NEVER TAKE HAWKINS FOR SPEECH!!!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Speech Class
Ok so as a college student we all have to take speech. Who knew that I would take this class with the professor from hell. Seriously she hasn't give any grade higher then a C+ on anyone's speech that they have given. If you do a topic she doesn't like then she takes off a letter grade. Shes awful, just awful. She doesn't approve any speeches unless they have to do with everyone. Which I am sorry its speech it doesn't always have to do with everyone. Shes a bitch. She thinks she knows everything when she doesn't. It takes two hours to do ten 5 minute speeches because she has to assign jobs to everyone then everyone has to give a speech on what they did. Omg it sucks ass. Then we vote on who's the best speaker that night at least 3 or 4 times. Its so annoying. I hate her. Shes the devil. People said speech was a fun class. No its not, at least not with her its like the freaking holocaust. It's her way or the oven for you. God I can't wait to be out of this class.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday
This weekend was awesome. :D
Friday: Very Chilled and laid back.
Saturday: Kobes possibly the greatest trip ever. The time was really truly priceless.
Sunday Sunday Sunday. yeah. Sometimes Teachers really tick me off. Along with people who aren't and just teach Sunday school. I am the pretty much the face of journey kids at my church, it sucks. I am not even in charge but I get every complaint, huff, and question. When I don't know the answer or do something that's not like how one of the teachers do it, its a crap storm for me. So annoying.
Just another day in the life of a psych student I guess.
Friday: Very Chilled and laid back.
Saturday: Kobes possibly the greatest trip ever. The time was really truly priceless.
Sunday Sunday Sunday. yeah. Sometimes Teachers really tick me off. Along with people who aren't and just teach Sunday school. I am the pretty much the face of journey kids at my church, it sucks. I am not even in charge but I get every complaint, huff, and question. When I don't know the answer or do something that's not like how one of the teachers do it, its a crap storm for me. So annoying.
Just another day in the life of a psych student I guess.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Venting today
I am stressed.
School is driving me nuts and its only the 3rd week. My speech teacher I seriously think started taking more Anti-depressants since last semester. She's off her rocker. Not to mention I just royally hate this class. I still need to come up with a speech topic so if anyone has any ideas that are super specific let me know.
Then, I have two test on the same day next week. I am so worried about both of them because they are on the same day and I need to get an A on both of them. Took a math test today. Honestly I don't feel good about it. I am just praying that I did well.
Non school related.
I had a guy that I used to talk to come over Saturday night to my house at 1:30am with a chair asking for me wanting to talk. My dad said he was high as a kite but still I am terrified it will happen again. I personally don't want to talk to him. He is a total nut case. He has more problems then a mental hospital.
Well thats all. night.
School is driving me nuts and its only the 3rd week. My speech teacher I seriously think started taking more Anti-depressants since last semester. She's off her rocker. Not to mention I just royally hate this class. I still need to come up with a speech topic so if anyone has any ideas that are super specific let me know.
Then, I have two test on the same day next week. I am so worried about both of them because they are on the same day and I need to get an A on both of them. Took a math test today. Honestly I don't feel good about it. I am just praying that I did well.
Non school related.
I had a guy that I used to talk to come over Saturday night to my house at 1:30am with a chair asking for me wanting to talk. My dad said he was high as a kite but still I am terrified it will happen again. I personally don't want to talk to him. He is a total nut case. He has more problems then a mental hospital.
Well thats all. night.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Bullying
Here's a early college paper I wrote for General Psychology on bullying.
“Between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency ("sometimes or more often") while 15-20% report that they bully others with some frequency.(stopbullingnow)” Student are bullied everyday no matter where they are. It is something that today’s children cannot escape even in the comfort of their own homes. In this paper I will cover what is bullying, why do children bully, effects of bullying psychology and how we can prevent or help a child that is being or has been bullied.
Therefore, what is bullying? The definition is "Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing, or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone.( Young, A., Hardy, V., Hamilton, C., Biernesser, K., Sun, L., & Niebergall, S. 2009)” Bullying is simply the act of someone who is repeatedly teased or abused over time by someone. Bulling itself comes in various forms such as “physical, verbal, nonverbal or emotional, cyber, rumors, sexual, racial, and threats. (Stop bullying now)(Olweus)”
Even though these are various types of bullying, what are the definitions for these types of bullying? Physical bullying is kicking, punching, or getting beat up. Verbal bullying would be name calling, or degrading statements, such as you’re stupid, retarded, ugly and nerd. Nonverbal or emotional bullying is “intimidating someone through gestures or social exclusion (Stop bulling now)” Cyber bullying is when a student texts or through internet degrades the student publicly on their Face book, Twitter page or sends threatening texts. Rumor bullying mostly is when a student spreads a untrue story about the person they are bullying.
Sexual bullying is referred to as “using sexual words to put someone down (like Slut), words referring to ones sexuality(such as calling someone gay), threats or jokes about rape, touching in away to make one feel uncomfortable, and forcing someone to act in a sexual way. (Womankind worldwide)” Racial bullying would be when you’re making degrading words (such as the “N” word) or statements about ones race. Threat bullying is when one threatens a student’s reputation or life.
Even though these are the types of bullying, what would lead a child to bully another student? “Children and adolescents who bully thrive on controlling or dominating others. They have often been the victims of physical abuse or bullying themselves. Bullies may also be depressed, angry or upset about events at school or at home. Children targeted by bullies also tend to fit a particular profile. Bullies often choose children who are passive, easily intimidated, or have few friends. Victims may also be smaller or younger, and have a harder time defending themselves. (AACAP)”
Likewise there have been cases, “where the parent rewards the student for the act, because the parent does not like either the student or the parents of the student. (Olweus)” As most children in that situation would typically go after the student to get the toy or money that they wanted. So it’s not always the child just doing it to do it. It’s them listening to their parents, because they were told a good and bad consequence by the parent.
As a result of bullying, there are psychological effects on the child being bullied and the bully. The student who is bullied is more likely to experience depression, low-self esteem, thoughts of suicide, health problems from the stress of being bullied, thoughts of killing the bully and or harming others in the process, and anxiety issues form. “In a longitudinal study, children who had been physically abused were more likely than children who had not been abused to have more significant impairments in functioning at ages 15 and 21, including depression and other psychiatric disorders, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts (Silverman, Reinherz, & Giaconia,1996).(Nickerson 2009)”
In a study about victimization and suicidal behavior it was found that “within a 12-month period, 20.5% to 29% of adolescents report having considered suicide (Brener, Krug, & Simon, 2000; Kandel, Raveis, & Davies, 1991), 15.7% to 19% have made a plan, and 7.7% to 8.7% have attempted suicide(Brener et al., 2000)(Nickerson 2009).” This just comes from a student who has been bullied so much to where it makes there life look worthless to them. Also the victimization in this part of the study was only verbal abuse. No physical abuse was taken by any child.
Now what are the psychological effects on the bully? The bully usually is the one who is “impulsive, has anger issues, view violence as a positive thing, and usually have been bullied and sees it as ok(Stop Bullying Now)”. Probably the best example of this would be the shooting of Columbine High School. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold both had been reported by students that they were picked on. They were not only picked on but the bullies themselves when it happened. Eric Harris had one incident of bullying “There was one incident in Eric’s senior year in which he was pushed into lockers(psychology today)”
A student named Brooks Brown said "Every time someone slammed them against a locker and threw a bottle at them, I think they'd go back to Eric or Dylan's house and plot a little more--at first as a goof, but more and more seriously over time. (Time magazine)” They may have been bullied but these students also bullied other kids. They “bragged in diaries about picking on freshmen and "fags."(USA Today)” They also in many TV reports said they hated people, and thought of themselves as gods.
As they took their revenge on the school, they who once were the bullied now became the bully. Killing and wounding students and faculty who did nothing to them and not just "These are not ordinary kids who played too many video games. These are not ordinary kids who just wanted to be famous. These are simply not ordinary kids. These are kids with serious psychological problems. (USA Today)"
Even though these are the biggest examples and the grimmest, it’s the worst that bullying can send a student to do these actions. There are many signs that a child is getting bullied, “You might notice your child acting differently or seeming anxious, or not eating, sleeping well, or doing the things that he or she usually enjoys. When kids seem moodier or more easily upset than usual, or when they start avoiding certain situations, like taking the bus to school, it may be because of a bully. (Kids Health)”
As well as these signs there other indicators of being bullied. The child can have unexplained bruises or cuts. They suddenly do not like school, start skipping, or even getting random illness so they don’t have to go. Also there will be a drop in the student’s grades that is being bullied because of absence or they just will not do the work to make a point.
One way of prevention for bullying is looking for these signs but also talking with the child or student who is bullied. “If you suspect that a child may be the victim of bullying ask him or her to tell you what's going on. You can help by providing lots of opportunities to talk with you in an open and honest way. It's also important to respond in a positive and accepting manner. Let the child know it's not his or her fault, and that he or she did the right thing by telling you.
Other specific suggestions include the following: Ask your child what he or she thinks should be done. What's already been tried? What worked and what didn't? Seek help from your child's teacher or the school guidance counselor. Most bullying occurs on playgrounds, in lunchrooms, and bathrooms, on school buses or in unsupervised halls. Ask the school administrators to find out about programs other schools and communities have used to help combat bullying, such as peer mediation, conflict resolution, and anger management training, and increased adult supervision.
Also, don't encourage your child to fight back. Instead, suggest that he or she try walking away to avoid the bully, or that they seek help from a teacher, coach, or other adult. Help your child practice what to say to the bully so he or she will be prepared the next time. Help your child practice being assertive. The simple act of insisting that the bully leave him alone may have a surprising effect. Explain to your child that the bully's true goal is to get a response.
As well as, encourage your child to be with friends when traveling back and forth from school, during shopping trips, or on other outings. Bullies are less likely to pick on a child in a group. (AACAP)” Also make sure that you make yourself available and caring for the student who comes and talks to you about the bully problem. Don’t take it lightly the child will just see it as another person who does not care about there being and can lead to more personal and permanent options.
Also, if you as a student feel as if you are being bullied, do take the following actions. Tell your parents or other trusted adults. They can help stop the bullying. If you are bullied at school, tell your teacher, school counselor, or principal. Don't fight back. Don't try to bully those who bully you. Try not to show anger or fear to them it will only feed their fire.
In addition, “Calmly tell the student to stop or say nothing and then walk away. Use humor, if this is easy for you to do. For example, if a student makes fun of our clothing, laugh and say, “Yeah, I think this shirt is kind of funny-looking, too.” Try to avoid situations in which bullying is likely to happen. You might want to avoid areas of the school where there are not many students or teachers around. Make sure you aren't alone in the bathroom or locker room. Sit near the front of the bus. Don't bring expensive things or lots of money to school. Sit with a group of friends at lunch. Take a different route through hallways or walk with friends or a teacher to your classes.(Stop Bullying Now)”
Though, if you suspect that a child is bullying, it is important that they seek or get help as soon as possible. “Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties. Talk to your child's pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor, or family physician. If the bullying continues, a comprehensive evaluation by a child and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional should be arranged. The evaluation can help you and your child understand what is causing the bullying, and help you develop a plan to stop the destructive behavior. (AACAP)”
Finally, bullying is something that every kid goes through, but they don’t have too. If we watch for the signs and teach our children not to bully many kids will be happy and many rates will be lowered. It’s something that we all have to work together on in home and in school settings. Kids don’t have to put up with the psychological part of bullying if we just take action and stop it in its early stages instead of the stage where suicide and school shootings happen.
I hoped you enjoy I am sorry for it all being spaced out it was all one huge blob and it just was no readable. :D Here are my sources if you would like more information on bullying.
1. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Bullying. (2008). Bullyingv, 80. Retrieved from http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/bullying
2. Langman, P. (2009, MAY 20). Columbine, bullying, and the mind of eric harris. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/keeping-kids-safe/200905/columbine-bullying-and-the-mind-eric-harris
3. NEW, M. (2007, June). Helping kids deal with bullies. Retrieved from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#
4. Nickerson, A., & Slater, E. (2009). School and Community Violence and Victimization as Predictors of Adolescent Suicidal Behavior. The School Psychology Review, 38(2), 218-32. Retrieved April 14, 2010, from Education Full Text database.
5. Olswus, D. (2001). What is Bullying? . Retrieved from http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying.page
6. Pooly, E, Could, J, Woodbury, R, Denver, R, & Harrington, M. (1999). Eric harris and dylan klebold: portrait of a deadly bond. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold: Portrait Of A Deadly Bond , Retrieved from http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,990917,00.html#ixzz0lgD8pHEp
7. Pytel, B. (2006, Augest 17). Long-term effects of bullying. Retrieved from http://educationalissues.suite101.com/article.cfm/long_term_effects_of_bullying
8. All about Bullying. (2010). Retrieved from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/adults/tip-sheets/tip-sheet-08.aspx
9. Toppo, G. (2009, April 14). 10 years later, the real story behind columbine. Retrieved from http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-04-13-columbine-myths_N.htm
10. Women kindworld wide, Initials. (2010). Definition of sexual bullying. Retrieved from http://www.womankind.org.uk/sexual-bullying-definition.html
11. Young, A., Hardy, V., Hamilton, C., Biernesser, K., Sun, L., & Niebergall, S. (2009). Empowering Students Using Data to Transform a Bullying Prevention and Intervention Program. Professional School Counseling, 12(6), 413-20. Retrieved April 14, 2010, from Education Full Text database.
“Between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency ("sometimes or more often") while 15-20% report that they bully others with some frequency.(stopbullingnow)” Student are bullied everyday no matter where they are. It is something that today’s children cannot escape even in the comfort of their own homes. In this paper I will cover what is bullying, why do children bully, effects of bullying psychology and how we can prevent or help a child that is being or has been bullied.
Therefore, what is bullying? The definition is "Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing, or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone.( Young, A., Hardy, V., Hamilton, C., Biernesser, K., Sun, L., & Niebergall, S. 2009)” Bullying is simply the act of someone who is repeatedly teased or abused over time by someone. Bulling itself comes in various forms such as “physical, verbal, nonverbal or emotional, cyber, rumors, sexual, racial, and threats. (Stop bullying now)(Olweus)”
Even though these are various types of bullying, what are the definitions for these types of bullying? Physical bullying is kicking, punching, or getting beat up. Verbal bullying would be name calling, or degrading statements, such as you’re stupid, retarded, ugly and nerd. Nonverbal or emotional bullying is “intimidating someone through gestures or social exclusion (Stop bulling now)” Cyber bullying is when a student texts or through internet degrades the student publicly on their Face book, Twitter page or sends threatening texts. Rumor bullying mostly is when a student spreads a untrue story about the person they are bullying.
Sexual bullying is referred to as “using sexual words to put someone down (like Slut), words referring to ones sexuality(such as calling someone gay), threats or jokes about rape, touching in away to make one feel uncomfortable, and forcing someone to act in a sexual way. (Womankind worldwide)” Racial bullying would be when you’re making degrading words (such as the “N” word) or statements about ones race. Threat bullying is when one threatens a student’s reputation or life.
Even though these are the types of bullying, what would lead a child to bully another student? “Children and adolescents who bully thrive on controlling or dominating others. They have often been the victims of physical abuse or bullying themselves. Bullies may also be depressed, angry or upset about events at school or at home. Children targeted by bullies also tend to fit a particular profile. Bullies often choose children who are passive, easily intimidated, or have few friends. Victims may also be smaller or younger, and have a harder time defending themselves. (AACAP)”
Likewise there have been cases, “where the parent rewards the student for the act, because the parent does not like either the student or the parents of the student. (Olweus)” As most children in that situation would typically go after the student to get the toy or money that they wanted. So it’s not always the child just doing it to do it. It’s them listening to their parents, because they were told a good and bad consequence by the parent.
As a result of bullying, there are psychological effects on the child being bullied and the bully. The student who is bullied is more likely to experience depression, low-self esteem, thoughts of suicide, health problems from the stress of being bullied, thoughts of killing the bully and or harming others in the process, and anxiety issues form. “In a longitudinal study, children who had been physically abused were more likely than children who had not been abused to have more significant impairments in functioning at ages 15 and 21, including depression and other psychiatric disorders, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts (Silverman, Reinherz, & Giaconia,1996).(Nickerson 2009)”
In a study about victimization and suicidal behavior it was found that “within a 12-month period, 20.5% to 29% of adolescents report having considered suicide (Brener, Krug, & Simon, 2000; Kandel, Raveis, & Davies, 1991), 15.7% to 19% have made a plan, and 7.7% to 8.7% have attempted suicide(Brener et al., 2000)(Nickerson 2009).” This just comes from a student who has been bullied so much to where it makes there life look worthless to them. Also the victimization in this part of the study was only verbal abuse. No physical abuse was taken by any child.
Now what are the psychological effects on the bully? The bully usually is the one who is “impulsive, has anger issues, view violence as a positive thing, and usually have been bullied and sees it as ok(Stop Bullying Now)”. Probably the best example of this would be the shooting of Columbine High School. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold both had been reported by students that they were picked on. They were not only picked on but the bullies themselves when it happened. Eric Harris had one incident of bullying “There was one incident in Eric’s senior year in which he was pushed into lockers(psychology today)”
A student named Brooks Brown said "Every time someone slammed them against a locker and threw a bottle at them, I think they'd go back to Eric or Dylan's house and plot a little more--at first as a goof, but more and more seriously over time. (Time magazine)” They may have been bullied but these students also bullied other kids. They “bragged in diaries about picking on freshmen and "fags."(USA Today)” They also in many TV reports said they hated people, and thought of themselves as gods.
As they took their revenge on the school, they who once were the bullied now became the bully. Killing and wounding students and faculty who did nothing to them and not just "These are not ordinary kids who played too many video games. These are not ordinary kids who just wanted to be famous. These are simply not ordinary kids. These are kids with serious psychological problems. (USA Today)"
Even though these are the biggest examples and the grimmest, it’s the worst that bullying can send a student to do these actions. There are many signs that a child is getting bullied, “You might notice your child acting differently or seeming anxious, or not eating, sleeping well, or doing the things that he or she usually enjoys. When kids seem moodier or more easily upset than usual, or when they start avoiding certain situations, like taking the bus to school, it may be because of a bully. (Kids Health)”
As well as these signs there other indicators of being bullied. The child can have unexplained bruises or cuts. They suddenly do not like school, start skipping, or even getting random illness so they don’t have to go. Also there will be a drop in the student’s grades that is being bullied because of absence or they just will not do the work to make a point.
One way of prevention for bullying is looking for these signs but also talking with the child or student who is bullied. “If you suspect that a child may be the victim of bullying ask him or her to tell you what's going on. You can help by providing lots of opportunities to talk with you in an open and honest way. It's also important to respond in a positive and accepting manner. Let the child know it's not his or her fault, and that he or she did the right thing by telling you.
Other specific suggestions include the following: Ask your child what he or she thinks should be done. What's already been tried? What worked and what didn't? Seek help from your child's teacher or the school guidance counselor. Most bullying occurs on playgrounds, in lunchrooms, and bathrooms, on school buses or in unsupervised halls. Ask the school administrators to find out about programs other schools and communities have used to help combat bullying, such as peer mediation, conflict resolution, and anger management training, and increased adult supervision.
Also, don't encourage your child to fight back. Instead, suggest that he or she try walking away to avoid the bully, or that they seek help from a teacher, coach, or other adult. Help your child practice what to say to the bully so he or she will be prepared the next time. Help your child practice being assertive. The simple act of insisting that the bully leave him alone may have a surprising effect. Explain to your child that the bully's true goal is to get a response.
As well as, encourage your child to be with friends when traveling back and forth from school, during shopping trips, or on other outings. Bullies are less likely to pick on a child in a group. (AACAP)” Also make sure that you make yourself available and caring for the student who comes and talks to you about the bully problem. Don’t take it lightly the child will just see it as another person who does not care about there being and can lead to more personal and permanent options.
Also, if you as a student feel as if you are being bullied, do take the following actions. Tell your parents or other trusted adults. They can help stop the bullying. If you are bullied at school, tell your teacher, school counselor, or principal. Don't fight back. Don't try to bully those who bully you. Try not to show anger or fear to them it will only feed their fire.
In addition, “Calmly tell the student to stop or say nothing and then walk away. Use humor, if this is easy for you to do. For example, if a student makes fun of our clothing, laugh and say, “Yeah, I think this shirt is kind of funny-looking, too.” Try to avoid situations in which bullying is likely to happen. You might want to avoid areas of the school where there are not many students or teachers around. Make sure you aren't alone in the bathroom or locker room. Sit near the front of the bus. Don't bring expensive things or lots of money to school. Sit with a group of friends at lunch. Take a different route through hallways or walk with friends or a teacher to your classes.(Stop Bullying Now)”
Though, if you suspect that a child is bullying, it is important that they seek or get help as soon as possible. “Without intervention, bullying can lead to serious academic, social, emotional and legal difficulties. Talk to your child's pediatrician, teacher, principal, school counselor, or family physician. If the bullying continues, a comprehensive evaluation by a child and adolescent psychiatrist or other mental health professional should be arranged. The evaluation can help you and your child understand what is causing the bullying, and help you develop a plan to stop the destructive behavior. (AACAP)”
Finally, bullying is something that every kid goes through, but they don’t have too. If we watch for the signs and teach our children not to bully many kids will be happy and many rates will be lowered. It’s something that we all have to work together on in home and in school settings. Kids don’t have to put up with the psychological part of bullying if we just take action and stop it in its early stages instead of the stage where suicide and school shootings happen.
I hoped you enjoy I am sorry for it all being spaced out it was all one huge blob and it just was no readable. :D Here are my sources if you would like more information on bullying.
1. American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Bullying. (2008). Bullyingv, 80. Retrieved from http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/bullying
2. Langman, P. (2009, MAY 20). Columbine, bullying, and the mind of eric harris. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/keeping-kids-safe/200905/columbine-bullying-and-the-mind-eric-harris
3. NEW, M. (2007, June). Helping kids deal with bullies. Retrieved from http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/bullies.html#
4. Nickerson, A., & Slater, E. (2009). School and Community Violence and Victimization as Predictors of Adolescent Suicidal Behavior. The School Psychology Review, 38(2), 218-32. Retrieved April 14, 2010, from Education Full Text database.
5. Olswus, D. (2001). What is Bullying? . Retrieved from http://www.olweus.org/public/bullying.page
6. Pooly, E, Could, J, Woodbury, R, Denver, R, & Harrington, M. (1999). Eric harris and dylan klebold: portrait of a deadly bond. Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold: Portrait Of A Deadly Bond , Retrieved from http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,990917,00.html#ixzz0lgD8pHEp
7. Pytel, B. (2006, Augest 17). Long-term effects of bullying. Retrieved from http://educationalissues.suite101.com/article.cfm/long_term_effects_of_bullying
8. All about Bullying. (2010). Retrieved from http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/adults/tip-sheets/tip-sheet-08.aspx
9. Toppo, G. (2009, April 14). 10 years later, the real story behind columbine. Retrieved from http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-04-13-columbine-myths_N.htm
10. Women kindworld wide, Initials. (2010). Definition of sexual bullying. Retrieved from http://www.womankind.org.uk/sexual-bullying-definition.html
11. Young, A., Hardy, V., Hamilton, C., Biernesser, K., Sun, L., & Niebergall, S. (2009). Empowering Students Using Data to Transform a Bullying Prevention and Intervention Program. Professional School Counseling, 12(6), 413-20. Retrieved April 14, 2010, from Education Full Text database.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Awesome news!
So I found out yesterday but I am finally allowed to scream it in the streets and on the web...*drum roll*
I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!
So excited. I can not wait to meet It. I hope that somehow I can give my sister in law a baby shower over skype since they live in china. :D So excited. Really best week ever and best weekend coming up for sure! Bed time! Night!
I AM GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!
So excited. I can not wait to meet It. I hope that somehow I can give my sister in law a baby shower over skype since they live in china. :D So excited. Really best week ever and best weekend coming up for sure! Bed time! Night!
TGIF
Happy Friday everyone!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend! I know I am. Filled with parties, fun, and
homework.
Also hoped everyone has had a great week! :D Well I got to get to work!
TGIF!!!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend! I know I am. Filled with parties, fun, and
homework.
Also hoped everyone has had a great week! :D Well I got to get to work!
TGIF!!!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Happy Tuesday!
Happy Tuesday to everyone! I hope it is stupendous so far!
Today someone asked me "How do you feel about families not having family dinners on the week nights? Do you think it effects the way our parents and teens interact?" Just a side note this is all based on my personal opinion.
1.) How do you feel about families not having family dinners on the week nights?
I think family dinners are important. Even if you can't do them ever day of the week just one or two days a week is fine. I know today with all the clubs and sports kids do it can be difficult. But it is good for the parents to know whats going on with their children and the children to know whats going on with their parents.
2.) Do you think it effects the way are parents and teens can interact?
Of Course, it can effect the way our parents and kids interact. I think those that are more distant only get what I call the facebook connection. Which is basically the surface level of this is what my kid or parent is doing today. There is no deeper connection other then that. Parents and kids should be able to connect deeper then that. The kids they trust should be there parents and parents trust there kids.
Also educating them on issues that occur now a days can take place. Not always sex but just with drugs, government, your family values, and other things. Its important for them to be educated on these things they are taking your place in the world some day and you want them to be educated. You don't just want your child to learn from their peers. Even if they are good friends they need to know your values and things in your life. Knowing that you as a parent have told them about the things in this world helps you trust them more. They know whats going on and you can trust them to make the right decision.
I know with my family life we have family dinners and it's definitely helped. It helped them to educate me on issues in the world other then being educated by my peers/teachers. I can trust my parents and tell them anything and know they will support me with any decision I make. It may not be the best but they let me make my mistake and help me fix them.
3.) Oh, that's easy enough but how do I get them to talk about their day and whats going on?
The best thing you can do is ask open ended questions to ask about their day. Otherwise you will just get a "fine." I know that works for a fact. I did not like talking to my parents about my day when I was a teen either, but open ended questions worked. Along with my parents thinking that what I was saying about my day wasn't stupid. Time's are different. Yes the most important things are who's dating who, what teacher is evil, what girl/boy is a jerk, what the latest gossip, whats the latest fad, who's sleeping with who and the list goes on. These are not dumb things to teens its there world. Its their everyday life. So be neutral when they talk about it and realize that whats going on didn't happen when you where their age.
4.) Okay, Got the question/talking down, but after dinner its laptops and cell phones time away from the family. What can i do about that?
Try playing games or watching a movie together after dinner. I know laptops and phones make this hard but there are PC games that are family fun. With the phones use texting as a way to talk to your kids. Some kids feel more comfortable telling things over text instead of out loud in front of the whole family. You really have to think outside the box with teens. Let them pick the movie or game they want to play and play/watch it with them. Just remember your a parent first and a friend second.
In conclusion, you should try them yes it will be hard at first esp. with the kids but try and make an effort to make it last at least 6 months and see how much different things change. Let the kids bring best friends to dinner once or twice a month so its not a total drag but not every time so that bonding can happen. So just try it for 6 months if you want your family to bond more in the teenage years and see what happens.
Today someone asked me "How do you feel about families not having family dinners on the week nights? Do you think it effects the way our parents and teens interact?" Just a side note this is all based on my personal opinion.
1.) How do you feel about families not having family dinners on the week nights?
I think family dinners are important. Even if you can't do them ever day of the week just one or two days a week is fine. I know today with all the clubs and sports kids do it can be difficult. But it is good for the parents to know whats going on with their children and the children to know whats going on with their parents.
2.) Do you think it effects the way are parents and teens can interact?
Of Course, it can effect the way our parents and kids interact. I think those that are more distant only get what I call the facebook connection. Which is basically the surface level of this is what my kid or parent is doing today. There is no deeper connection other then that. Parents and kids should be able to connect deeper then that. The kids they trust should be there parents and parents trust there kids.
Also educating them on issues that occur now a days can take place. Not always sex but just with drugs, government, your family values, and other things. Its important for them to be educated on these things they are taking your place in the world some day and you want them to be educated. You don't just want your child to learn from their peers. Even if they are good friends they need to know your values and things in your life. Knowing that you as a parent have told them about the things in this world helps you trust them more. They know whats going on and you can trust them to make the right decision.
I know with my family life we have family dinners and it's definitely helped. It helped them to educate me on issues in the world other then being educated by my peers/teachers. I can trust my parents and tell them anything and know they will support me with any decision I make. It may not be the best but they let me make my mistake and help me fix them.
3.) Oh, that's easy enough but how do I get them to talk about their day and whats going on?
The best thing you can do is ask open ended questions to ask about their day. Otherwise you will just get a "fine." I know that works for a fact. I did not like talking to my parents about my day when I was a teen either, but open ended questions worked. Along with my parents thinking that what I was saying about my day wasn't stupid. Time's are different. Yes the most important things are who's dating who, what teacher is evil, what girl/boy is a jerk, what the latest gossip, whats the latest fad, who's sleeping with who and the list goes on. These are not dumb things to teens its there world. Its their everyday life. So be neutral when they talk about it and realize that whats going on didn't happen when you where their age.
4.) Okay, Got the question/talking down, but after dinner its laptops and cell phones time away from the family. What can i do about that?
Try playing games or watching a movie together after dinner. I know laptops and phones make this hard but there are PC games that are family fun. With the phones use texting as a way to talk to your kids. Some kids feel more comfortable telling things over text instead of out loud in front of the whole family. You really have to think outside the box with teens. Let them pick the movie or game they want to play and play/watch it with them. Just remember your a parent first and a friend second.
In conclusion, you should try them yes it will be hard at first esp. with the kids but try and make an effort to make it last at least 6 months and see how much different things change. Let the kids bring best friends to dinner once or twice a month so its not a total drag but not every time so that bonding can happen. So just try it for 6 months if you want your family to bond more in the teenage years and see what happens.
Monday, September 6, 2010
10 easy things to motivate you
Ever feel like not doing homework/school work? I am pretty sure we all have. Here's some ways to get motivated about it.
1. Think about the life you personally want
2. Think about the Family you will have some day
3. Find the thing that your passionate about and how much you want to do it and go for it.
4. College students if you dread the homework for the classes in the major your taking look at a new major. It will not make you happy in the future.
5. Look at what you can't afford, but seriously want.
6. High school students: college is expensive do well your best so you don't have to pay for it.
7. Seriously think about how much more you will make with a degree then with nothing. Even the stars go to high school and college so they can make more and do what they love.
8. Remember your dreams that you want to come true and don't stop dreaming
9. Don't think that going to college or school is stupid. Its important and if u have that attitude you will hate it. Go into school work with a positive attitude.
10. Lastly, think of after it's all said and done. Its the end of the road what do you want people to remember you for.
If you're behind in school, flunked out of college, have the feeling that the standardize testing is scary and college is the same way, and etc. I know how you feel I was that person. Just since I have had a more motivated and positive outlook on school it has helped a ton. I was on the presidents list at my college with a 4.0 last semester. I never in my life thought I could make a 4.0gpa esp in college. A quick mind set change can make the biggest difference. Just give it a try. Always try it twice. Also make sure you do it for yourself and not just others. Others will always be in the mix. Just when you do it for yourself the reward at the end is so much better.
1. Think about the life you personally want
2. Think about the Family you will have some day
3. Find the thing that your passionate about and how much you want to do it and go for it.
4. College students if you dread the homework for the classes in the major your taking look at a new major. It will not make you happy in the future.
5. Look at what you can't afford, but seriously want.
6. High school students: college is expensive do well your best so you don't have to pay for it.
7. Seriously think about how much more you will make with a degree then with nothing. Even the stars go to high school and college so they can make more and do what they love.
8. Remember your dreams that you want to come true and don't stop dreaming
9. Don't think that going to college or school is stupid. Its important and if u have that attitude you will hate it. Go into school work with a positive attitude.
10. Lastly, think of after it's all said and done. Its the end of the road what do you want people to remember you for.
If you're behind in school, flunked out of college, have the feeling that the standardize testing is scary and college is the same way, and etc. I know how you feel I was that person. Just since I have had a more motivated and positive outlook on school it has helped a ton. I was on the presidents list at my college with a 4.0 last semester. I never in my life thought I could make a 4.0gpa esp in college. A quick mind set change can make the biggest difference. Just give it a try. Always try it twice. Also make sure you do it for yourself and not just others. Others will always be in the mix. Just when you do it for yourself the reward at the end is so much better.
About me/my blog
Hey!
I am new to this whole thing first day! Woot woot!
Little about me. I play tuba. I like movies. I like just going to the beach. I am a psychology major. I am very random so I called this the random blog because that is basically what it will be. It matches my personally. :D I may randomly post some of my psychology research papers so people can just read them for self help or i may just rant about how much i hate something or how awesome it is.
That's basiclly it for this blog. So have a good day! :)
I am new to this whole thing first day! Woot woot!
Little about me. I play tuba. I like movies. I like just going to the beach. I am a psychology major. I am very random so I called this the random blog because that is basically what it will be. It matches my personally. :D I may randomly post some of my psychology research papers so people can just read them for self help or i may just rant about how much i hate something or how awesome it is.
That's basiclly it for this blog. So have a good day! :)
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