Happy Tuesday!

Happy Tuesday to everyone! I hope it is stupendous so far!

Today someone asked me "How do you feel about families not having family dinners on the week nights? Do you think it effects the way our parents and teens interact?" Just a side note this is all based on my personal opinion.

1.) How do you feel about families not having family dinners on the week nights?

   I think family dinners are important. Even if you can't do them ever day of the week just one or two days a week is fine. I know today with all the clubs and sports kids do it can be difficult. But it is good for the parents to know whats going on with their children and the children to know whats going on with their parents.

2.) Do you think it effects the way are parents and teens can interact? 
 
    Of Course, it can effect the way our parents and kids interact. I think those that are more distant only get what I call the facebook connection. Which is basically the surface level of this is what my kid or parent is doing today. There is no deeper connection other then that. Parents and kids should be able to connect deeper then that. The kids they trust should be there parents and parents trust there kids.
   Also educating them on issues that occur now a days can take place. Not always sex but just with drugs, government, your family values, and other things. Its important for them to be educated on these things they are taking your place in the world some day and you want them to be educated. You don't just want your child to learn from their peers. Even if they are good friends they need to know your values and things in your life. Knowing that you as a parent have told them about the things in this world helps you trust them more. They know whats going on and you can trust them to make the right decision.
    I know with my family life we have family dinners and it's definitely helped. It helped them to educate me on issues in the world other then being educated by my peers/teachers. I can trust my parents and tell them anything and know they will support me with any decision I make. It may not be the best but they let me make my mistake and help me fix them.
    
3.) Oh, that's easy enough but how do I get them to talk about their day and whats going on?
     
    The best thing you can do is ask open ended questions to ask about their day. Otherwise you will just get a "fine." I know that works for a fact. I did not like talking to my parents about my day when I was a teen either, but open ended questions worked. Along with my parents thinking that what I was saying about my day wasn't stupid. Time's are different. Yes the most important things are who's dating who, what teacher is evil, what girl/boy is a jerk, what the latest gossip, whats the latest fad, who's sleeping with who and the list goes on. These are not dumb things to teens its there world. Its their everyday life. So be neutral when they talk about it and realize that whats going on didn't happen when you where their age.

4.) Okay, Got the question/talking down, but after dinner its laptops and cell phones time away from the family. What can i do about that?
   
   Try playing games or watching a movie together after dinner. I know laptops and phones make this hard but there are PC games that are family fun. With the phones use texting as a way to talk to your kids. Some kids feel more comfortable telling things over text instead of out loud in front of the whole family. You really have to think outside the box with teens. Let them pick the movie or game they want to play and play/watch it with them. Just remember your a parent first and a friend second.

In conclusion, you should try them yes it will be hard at first esp. with the kids but try and make an effort to make it last at least 6 months and see how much different things change. Let the kids bring best friends to dinner once or twice a month so its not a total drag but not every time so that bonding can happen. So just try it for 6 months if you want your family to bond more in the teenage years and see what happens.